Addiction and Feeding the Monster

My lovely daughter is in love with a red monster. She says his name more than any other word she knows and throws herself on the floor when I won't let her see him.

"Elmos!" she will happily cry morning and night. I am guilty of giving in sometimes because I just want a moment to myself (to post to my blog or something!). I never wanted to be a mom that used the television as a babysitter! Damn you Sesame Street!

My baby used the potty chair yesterday!! She has sat on it a few times, but actually peed!

Who knew life could get so exciting?

Day one of in-laws visit from Kansas is drawing to a close.
So far, so good. I'm thrilled and surprised!

Neverending quest for beauty!

Justin and I have gym memberships to Anytime Fitness. We have good intentions of doing a fitness weblog together, but it slipped by the wayside after one post. We called it "The Joint Task Force on FUPA Reduction." Now Justin has one called "Eye of the Tiger, Body of the Manitee."

Madeline is staying with my parents & sisters this week and rather than work on everything I have to fight to do when she is here, I totally want to sit in the recliner and play solitaire. We didn't make it to the gym yesterday, but I'm on my way there after I complete this post. As I'm writing this, there is an info-mercial on for a fantastic 10-minute trainer program. The before pictures are always mega-ridiculous where everyone has awful posture and wears biker shorts and bikinis that are 28 sizes too small. Nobody of any size walks around wearing things like that. But the after picture shows the super fit shiney guy in acid washed jeans with the top button undone. That is what motivates me. Definitely.

Last week at the gym a snaggle hag got on my case b/c I didn't wipe down my machine within 8 seconds of stepping off. Justin said I should've used her sweat towel to tie her by the neck to the treadmill and cranked it on max incline and speed.

I've been trying to think about what my biggest roadblock is to being mega-fit and haven't quite narrowed it down yet. I'll think about that while I read my fitness magazine and sweat on the tread-climber.

There are some words you just don't hear people use on a regular basis these days.
Yesterday I was at the supermarket with Madeline and kept passing a mother with her 3 young children throughout the store. The mom was of the conservative/religious breed---long flowery print dress and fabric on her head….somewhat amish/mormonesque or something. At one point I was waiting for her to move her cart in the spice section when I saw a man who appeared to be trying to sneak up behind her. He wrapped his arms around her and of course she was startled and the children and man laughed and the woman responded with, “You are such a rascal!”
Huh. Rascal. I don’t know if I’ve ever said that word. But it made me want to create some kind of situation in which I could call Justin a rascal. I know he’d stop whatever he was doing to ask me what the hell I was doing, call him a rascal. He’s probably react less if I called him a silly goose or even a crazy bastard.
Anyway, are there words that ya’ll can think of that aren’t used in everyday situations like the aforementioned?
Goofy is one I’ve been attempting to resurrect the last few months. It just sounds fun. My cousin said he is in a “shit” phase lately and laughed hard when I responded to a ridiculous family story with, “…oh, for shit’s sake!”
On a completely unrelated note, husband and I biked 24 miles on Saturday with Madeline hooked in the trailer behind my bike. My behind is still a tad sensitive if I sit a certain way at the dinner table, but otherwise it was wonderful. Our plan wasn’t to bike that far, but we did want to bike into the State Park to check out the campground for possible use this weekend when my parents and sisters visit. It was a bit further around the lake and off the trail than we had guessed and when we finally made it back home, Justin said he felt like he had been raped by a prison gang. Youch!

Over the course of the last week I have tried to publish about 4 different posts and each time it cycles and cycles and then comes back with an error and I lose everything except the first few sentences of what I had written. It's not that I had anything so exciting or interesting to say, but it makes me feel like doing murder when that happens!

So, here I am, trying it AGAIN while Madeline watches Sesame Street and I sort through pictures from my cousin's wedding. It was a pleasant trip to Minneapolis and I had a few too many cocktails and look like shit in pretty much all of the photos. Stacey+drinking=dancing=sweating=ugly.

However, I have attached a photo of brother sharing a piece of ham with his fiance'. Pretty friggen romantic?

Husband's job is talking about sending us to Kansas in late October. I don't think I'd mind skipping a Minnesota winter this year. I mostly want to NOT feel like my brain and body are turning to mush by being a stay at home mom. Madeline and I were out for a walk this morning and I found myself conversing with her about doggies and bunnies and other lame shit in the neighborhood. I think the people who say being a stay at home mom is so fulfilling are big liars. Maybe I'm not creative enough? Maybe my expectations are too high? Maybe my life prior to having a child was pretty challenging and satisfying and making such an extreme shift is like culture shock?

I am disappointed in myself for learning character names on Sesame Street and that I can recognize a boy named Caliou and an animal/boy named Arthur and that I count and recite numbers and letters in any given everyday situation. What happens when Madeline gets older and goes to school? I'll be left a retarded old lady with nothing but my morning public television line up!

What are other ways that people cope with children driving them INSANE?!?!?!?!?

First we have our latest MySpace photo for all of ya'll to enjoy! The second photo is one that Justin put together for a party my brother hosted this weekend. All of the dudes were congregating for male fun and to make one of the men feel bad about having a picture with his cat, everyone was supposed to take super ridiculous pictures with animals to be hung in the garage. J created this "masterpiece" because we do not and never will have any animals/pets.

I'm tired.

Sort of survey:

For those of you with significant others: when you go out of town and your other half stays home, how often do you speak on the phone?

Mama!

Madeline said MAMA for the first time today! We've been trying to get her to say it for ages and her current verbal vocabulary consists of: dad, cheese, oh wow, and sometimes ball and boobs.

I am overflowing with excitement! It is my wedding anniversary today and Justin called my mom this morning to wish her happy anniversary of being his mother-in-law. Crazy cat.

We got 16 more inches of snow this last weekend and are on tap for another possible rain/snow this weekend. I think I might do murder if that happens.

We got another 16+ inches of snow this weekend. Seriously? What is going on? My sisters and I had a girls' night scheduled with my mom for Friday night in Brainerd. I left town around 1:30 pm and it was just very cold. As I got closer to the Brainerd Lakes area the white shit was flying.
I ended up not being able to come home yesterday. I got on the road around 7:00 a.m. today, hoping to make it back in time to go to church with Justin and Madeline at 10:00. Normally the drive would take 2 hours at the most. Today it took me 4 hours. Yes.
I spun out twice and had to be towed out once. No damage to me or the vehicle. I drank lots of water and smoked a couple cigs I found in my truck, while listening to a couple cd's I purchased at Friday night's concert. No, I'm not a habitual smoker, so don't judge me.
Why did I even start this post? I don't feel like writing and can't think.

I do have to tell something funny though. When we were at the concert Friday night, there was an old lady wearing a fanny pack. My sister leaned over and said, "FP at 11:00."
Several years ago she came with me to work at a booth at the Minneapolis Sport Show. There were an insane number of people in sweat pants and/or wearing fanny packs. We started to point them out to eachother by saying SP and FP.
So we were chuckling about the FP on Friday night and thought it would be funny if everyone on the Rosa Parks party bus in May had to wear fanny packs and could not be allowed to carry purses or wallets. I explained it would be for the best anyway, because it would afford so much more freedom. Then I came up with the brainiac idea to call fanny packs FREEDOM PURSES!

I love it and need to TM the name.

Justin recently did a post on his blog about how stupid Americans are. The other night Deal or No Deal was on one station and another Democratic debate was on at the same time. I was flipping back and forth between the two, mostly passing time until the new Criminal Minds was on. I can hardly stand Deal or No Deal, but it was this lame fraternity on spring break who was having crazy good luck, so I got sucked in. I also got a little sucked in when Obama was throwing down on Hillary for suggesting his friends of friends of friends are on a committee to do something and that mean he runs with a bad crowd.

I'm already way burnt out on election and it hasn't even begun. I'm one of the stoooopid Americans my husband speaks of. I feel bad that he was afraid to confront me about it as I flipped the channels.

It is FINALLY nice today! Last week at this time we were dealing with another EIGHT inches of snow.

We are heading south to my parents' for the weekend and grilling and bonfiring tomorrow in celebration of my big 31st birthday. Yipppeee.

I hate my birthday.

Seriously.

Where is Spring?

The other day my mom said the robin needs to get snowed on 3 times before Spring is "officially" here. I think any robin that may have been here is dead and buried under the 24 inches of snow we got this weekend!!!!!

On Saturday we were raking the damn grass in our flip flops and now we are crippled by white stuff. I've got a bad case of spring/cabin fever and just want to get my bike out and go around the lake.

My birthday is in a couple weeks and we are hoping to bbq and bonfire, instead of a party bus, weather permitting. We are thinking of doing the party bus in May for some relatives' college graduations. Justin is calling it "The Rosa Parks Invitational GET ON THE BUS Party" and working on an e-vite. He cracks me up.

Tonight is the NCAA championship game! Rock Chalk Jayhawk----KU! It's fun to watch Justin get fired up about things. He's so mellow and disinterested most of the time....hahahahahha.

Next Competition Photo

Chest Hair and New MySpace Photo

I have a dislike for stray hairs. I not only dislike them on myself, but as much on other people. Every once in a while Justin'll have a random ear hair or one of his goatee hairs sticks straight out and I have to yank it. He gets pretty angry and pissy and cryey and I tell him to look in a mirror once in a while and be thankful he has a wife who cares about things like that...BECAUSE he has commented on mega ear hair and whatnot on other people---men AND women.

It's maybe a double-standard that I can overlook (kind of) a stray facial hair on a man WAaaaayyy more than I can on a woman. Today at church there was a woman with beautiful long dark hair. During worship she flipped her hair back over her shoulder, revealing mega sideburns-----porkchops. It sort of caught me by surprise and I asked God to forgive me for judging and begged the Holy Spirit to help me focus. I've never been quite so happy to be blonde and fair-haired/skinned.

This situation reminded my of my first encounter with strange female hair "issues" as a child.

In 2nd grade my mom signed us all up for swimming lessons. Our instructor was actually my teacher from the prior school year. I was excited and instantly put at ease. I wanted to please her and show her that I was brave and ready to learn. On the inside I was totally scared of learning to swim and freaked out by water over my head. So I learned to hold my breath and clutched the side of the pool as we took turns trying the front and back float with her supporting us underneath. As I watched her lean over, holding one of the other kids, I could see down the front of her swimsuit. What I saw shocked me and has frightened me to this day. Of course, I saw boobs. At that age I had seen my mom dress plenty of times and was probably starting to sprout my own. However, on those breasts, I saw a crop of long, black, curly, coarse HAIR. I'm not talking a stray hair or 2 or even 4 or 8. I thought there was a black baby hiding down the front of her suit.

Scarred.

It's SO on! I think the above photo will be our next MySpace pic!

Below are my brother's last couple shots.

Who shall win?!?!

Justin & I, my brother, and another friend are having a "competition" on Myspace to find the strangest profile photos. It has gotten pretty funny.

Currently Cody has a photo of Radio and my brother has a strange looking male.
This is our current myspace photo.

I think it's male, but am not for sure.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!

It's Justin's 29th birthday today. He's a young pup and I robbed the cradle. I always dated men MUCH older than I, until I met Justin. He still teases me about having geriatric wet dreams and says I'm never allowed to work in a nursing home.
Having a birthday on a Tuesday is a bummer. I tried to get some of our friends together and they all are busy or flat out didn't respond. Nice. So it might just be the 2 of us going out for dinner and maybe light bulb shopping after that. Maddie'll stay with Ana and we'll be home and in bed asleep by 10 pm.
I'm ultra-pumped because MY birthday is on a Saturday this year!
Justin came home for lunch today and I made some wild rice and a new kind of veggie burger. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRROooooooossssyuuuuuukkkkkk! It was a bag of this veggie/protein/fiber stuff that you put with boiling water and let sit. Then form it into patties and cook 'er up! They are not tasty. Of course Madeline liked them. I served Justin's on some Ezekiel bread w/ketchup and spicy mustard and spicy cheese and spicy air on a spicy plate and it still was pretty raunch. Thankfully the wild rice and yogurt were available! But we know what Maddie gets for dinner tonight while we are having pizza and beer!

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This weekend we had Jeremy and Renee's wedding reception down South. After 5 hours of driving we were totally ready for the brew tour and socializing afterward. It was super cold out and put a bit of a damper on festivities, but not too much.
The saturday reception was at this ballroom in downtown New Ulm and of course my camera batteries crapped out after taking 2 pictures of my brother during the talent show! BOoo!
The ballroom was this place that looked like it was from the '20's. Very cool. Tons of our relatives were there and we did loads of dancing and I'm still a little sore today actually. I wore monster heals alllll night and atrophied my calves and quads. I wish I could fully explain the fun that we have with some of my cousins when we get together playin "The Dare Game." It's totally wonderful for us, but dangerous for anyone else around.
It started with 13 year old Crystal trying to convince Jeremy and Renee that she was angry with her step mom and needed to sleep in their hotel room for the rest of the weekend. SHe was a true champ and totally convinced them, even though they said NO WAY.
Cousin Shelly had to go to the DJ and rub her hands all over herself and beg him to play something "dirty."
Ben had to put his tie around his head like a bandana and grap 2 sticks from one of the centerpieces and walk around "knighting" 6 people.
Justin had to escort a folding chair to the middle of the dance floor and dirty dance with it.
I had to pretend like I was leading an aerobics class in the middle of a group of people on the dance floor.
etc. etc. etc.
Stupid, fun, and most everytime we are together this crap takes place. I think Ben and I started it many years ago while camping. A bunch of us were around the bonfire and I dared him to go sit on the ground next to the fire and do 5 sit-ups and then go sit back down and not say anything to anyone. Whatever. Stooooopid, but if you knew my family you'd so be in on it.

Tomorrow is my parents' 31st wedding anniversary! Holy moly! Pretty much they can't stand eachother anymore, but maybe that's what happens when your life revolves around your kids for 31 years? When they grow up and leave, then you wonder who the hell that other person is sitting across the table from you? Sad kind of.

HAPPY EASTER!

Seriously Awesome?

Every so often I get a wild hair to try a new recipe or a healthier version of something I really like. I've adapted encheladas to be super healthy and today found a recipe for black bean brownies! Why not?

They just came out of the oven 7 minutes ago and I took a tiny corner bite and they are rockin! I called husband to tell him what I was making and I think he gagged. I want to call my friend Jen and tell her, cuz I'm so pumped, but they are probably right in the middle of sitting down to dinner.

Jen----they are good!

I used 1 c of brown sugar and 1 c of white, instead of 2 c of while. I was going to sub honey for some of the sugar but realized I was almost out. I would've used some whole wheat flour instead of white, but it only calls for 2/3 c. of flour anyway and I'm running low on wheat and I still have to bake bread for my mom's birthday gift tomorrow.

I threw in some white chocolate chips and I think we have a winner.

A few weeks ago I made some vegan oatmeal peanut butter cookies, that used tofu and soy milk instead of eggs and they were awesome. I used applesauce instead of oil and honey in place of half the sugar. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm. I'll find the link to that recipe and post it. I have it around here somewhere.

Do any of ya'll have any stellar healthy recipes? I'd love to hear 'em!