sorry, one more time.

testing again, trying to get comments to work.

testing

Goinggggggg outttttt offffff townnnnn.

Weeeeeeeeeeeee.

...so out of anything to motivate me to keep going this semester...
I want to:
quit school
quit work
tell work to fuck off
move
change my name
start over
never see another retarded person in my life
sell my soul for enough money to have complete reconstructive surgery on my ugly self
(not necessarily in that order)

As corky the retard sang, "Obla dee obla da, life goes on" whether I like it or not.

Studio Tours Part II
I’m excited that this is (hopefully) the last time I have to do this.
I’ll be painfully honest in saying that my engine has run out of steam. I think it’s this shitty weather. It’s like kryptonite to my attitude and ambition.

I’m asking 99.9 points for this assignment, .1 points taken off for my shitty attitude.

Anyway…

Femina Mosaic

I have been reading this blog since Faith created it a few weeks ago, without reading the new project proposal. It’s interesting to me that it takes on new meaning now understanding the thought behind it. The writing is all there and still the same, but how I read and interact with it is not.

While reading it before, I view myself as an outsider—someone just nosing around, enjoying the writing, without allowing myself to establish little connection. More than not allowing, I wasn’t even considering the idea. Until reading in her project proposal:

“It is my belief, that the way that women hold each other up and communicate with each other is a source of great strength in our lives. Indirectly, we all benefit from this. I want to explore this form of communication by providing a writing space for women to share what they wish about their lives.”

I am a woman. This appeal to be “let in” on something more than just reading someone’s online journal made me connect to the posts in an entirely new way. I like that. Connection!

When I first received the invite to join this blog, I didn’t respond, assuming it was another one of those accidental mass invites. Now, I’m excited to participate and communicate with the other amazing women already there.

The title is perfect for the intent of the blog and I see this project continuing well outside the end of the semester. Faith is creating bonds, bonds that are not confined to any boundaries but those of the technical realm (which are hell sometimes!). I could see that the time constraint of beginning the blog mid-semester would affect the class of seeing how the communication would evolve, but I hope I’m there and a participant when it does!
p.s. for reader convenience, could you create a link on your project proposal to your blog?

“Sweet Caroline. Dah dah da. Good times never seemed so good!”
Again, I’m fortunate to be writing about a blog I frequently visit. I’m so blessed.

I feel I should start by saying that Caroline should become a participant in the Femina Mosaic blog (if she is not already).

In Caroline’s proposal, she says that her intent is to “create a blog that discusses main areas of my personal life, school life and just life in general. I will use the blog to journal about my diabetes, my school life as an older than average student, my favorite tool (my computer) and what I do in my free time.”

She covers each of those topics in her almost daily posts. She is faithful to her blog and the posts usually start out talking about class and school schedule and then a general run down of what her day includes.

Having been a regular reader of her blog from the very beginning, I admit to seeing a little less “Caroline” in the posts lately. Yes, she covers the above mentioned topics, but as a reader (not that she’s writing for me, but allow me to throw my 2 cents out there) I sometimes wonder about things BEYOND what she does.

For example, an excerpt from today’s post (4/20):
“So last night my husband set up the baskets without me, again with the chocolate. Then we delivered the baskets to bedroom doors at 6 am. I snoozed for another hour, before starting the Sunday morning routine of getting kids up one at a time, for the shower. At 10 we were at church, 'til 1. We had an early dinner, so the teens who had to work could have a Sunday dinner with us, it went really well. My husband can cook anytime he wants, well maybe. He made Baked Alaska from a recipe from a co-worker. It was good, but too much frosting. This from someone who can eat frosting from the container. “

That’s a lot of dang information packed into one paragraph!

I found myself wondering how the kids react to their Easter baskets. They are teens, do they care? Were they excited? Did they sleepily trip over them on their way to the shower? Does church always lost from 10-1? How did Caroline feel about her teens having to work on Easter? Does this obviously caring mom wish she could have her family home? etc. etc.

Although, I know Caroline has 6 writing classes this semester, so going into an elaboration on the blog may be very low priority on her list. Not only that, but this could be an intentional move on her part.

The posts vary in length, it seems depending on the day’s activities. It’s clear that Caroline is really “in to” her blog and the act of blogging. It’s a great diary for any woman to have at the end of the day to realize just how productive she is!

Keep being sweet, Caroline.


Traveling Back in Time With Ayleen

I have a real aversion for in progress wikis. I felt disappointed that I would get to Ayleen at around 10 years old and then stop. This is obviously a work in progress and not me commenting on Ayleen’s work. It is simply an observation I make about my reading wikis vs. blogs. I wonder how this project would be in blog form. I think that would be next to impossible to do. Since the current time passing has nothing to do with the past…or something. I’m getting off track, sorry.

I think this is a great idea for a project and is definitely fun to be reading and checking back on. The site map is a MAJOR necessity and I recommend putting a link to that closer to the top of middle of the page, rather than the bottom. I’ve gone through the wiki without following the site map and it’s possible to navigate, but more confusion than the reader “should” have. Ayleen’s expertise in creating the site map is brilliant. Show it off.

Ayleen is a techno-mastermind and it clearly shows in her layout and organization of the wiki.

It’s interesting to read her memories in comparison to her mom’s of the same time period. I hope she sees this project through to completion. I recall reading in Caroline’s revised project proposal that Ayleen was experiencing some “ho-hum” feelings toward this wiki. I could see running out of steam for a big project such as this, but keep with it!!

Alyeen does a good job of having a variety of links in the text and making sure there is a link to “home” on each page. Dr. Morgan learned her well.

I find myself curious how it is to do a project wiki with another person, especially outside the class. Easy? Difficult? I look forward to Ayleen’s end of the term report to learn answers to those questions.

Can't feel legs...seriously overworked muscles at gym today...last day of my life as a 25 yr. old.

Give me sleep or give me death.

Last night was a little better for sleep. My body and mind finally gave in about 2:30 this morning, only 4 hours after I tried going to bed. I think a nap is in order for this afternoon, before bible study tonight.

It looks like it's going to be another beautiful day outside. I'm loving this. I hope it keeps up for this weekend. I'm excited to get out of town.

I have GOT to shake this bout of insomnia! I haven't slept more than 3 hours a night for almost a week now. Today was the worst. I felt like I had the worst hangover and couldn't hold a conversation to save my life. Fortunately, I was able to come home at the end of the day and collapse on my bed into deep sleep...finally. Hopefully that doesn't keep me from sleeping well tonight.

I think it's the combination of the time change, the dramatic weather change, my 26th birthday in a few days (it's bothering me more than I'm letting on), the end of the semester is in view, etc....

Ok, I have too much work to do to be wasting my time here.

You think my blog is dull? The most exciting person in the world referred me to the dullest blog in the world. Enjoy!

Response to Birkerts

The most difficult thing about doing these response assignments is trying to decide which “hat” I want to wear while I approach the material. I find myself reading certain ideas as a student, and then shifting to the role of teacher, reading things in a much different way. While reading the chapters from Birkerts, I not only bounced between those two identities, but in addition to that, I was just plain Stacey—avid reader.

It’s my fear of commitment that has caused me to respond to Birkerts’ chapter 8 touching on each of the three identities I just mentioned.

Stacey the Student

Birkerts raises a very interesting issue of the electronic age affecting our historical tradition. He states, “The underlying question, avoided by many, may be not only whether the tradition is relevant, but whether it might be too taxing for students to comprehend.” My initial reaction to that, as a student, is that I feel like what is expected of me, as opposed to students even 10 years ago, has dramatically decreased. What’s wrong with a student being taxed? I’m guilty of being a lazy thinker and often am surprised at how little is expected of me as a student, because educators don’t want to overload students.

The premise Birkerts points out is “…If electronic media are the one thing that the young are at ease with, why not exploit the fact?” As a student, I love the idea of my education conforming to what is familiar to me. Technology is modern and interactive and appeals in a very deliberate “what you see is what you get” kind of way. It changes as quickly as we are introduced to it that it leaves me with a no-commitment, fly by night, less appreciated view of what I’m learning. I feel less pressure to meet standards as I see accommodations being made all the time to suite today’s students. At what point did the education system feel so pressured to adapt itself for individuals, rather than individuals adapt to get through the system?

Are they (the system and the students) any better off while it has changed?

This is the perfect place to transition to:

Stacey the Teacher

Birkerts raises questions regarding Calabrese’s observation on the preconditioning of students, saying, “Should we suppose that American education will begin to tailor itself to the aptitudes of its students, presenting more and more of its materials in newly packaged forms? And what will happen when educators find that not very many of the old materials will “play”—that is, capture student enthusiasm? Is the what of learning to be determined by the how?”

As a teacher, there is extreme pressure to present material in such a way that engages the students. I often feel like the responsibility is solely my own and that the students EXPECT me to make things fun and exciting and to make the connections for them. Sometimes the thinking of “If they don’t care, why should I?” makes it’s way to my head. In high school and various post-secondary courses, I couldn’t imagine having anything other than the approach of: This is the material, this is what you should know by the end of the class, let’s get to it!

The first time education adapted to ME, I was exhilarated, delighted, and didn’t miss a day of class. I also became very disappointed when classes that followed weren’t like that. Having experienced both sides of the fence makes me want to be the kind of teacher that will adapt material where needed for the success of my classroom. But, is it simply the success of my classroom and less the success of the students? If I can see the expectations in education lowering as a student, I definitely feel that as a teacher. I agree with Birkerts in the grave affect it’s having in our classrooms. Technology does so much of the thinking for students. Birkerts says, “Many educators say that our students are less and less able to read, or analyze, or write with clarity and purpose. Who can blame the students? Everything they meet with the world around them gives the signal: That was then, and electronic communications are now.”

In my classroom, I’m amazed at the low functionality that some of the students are coming to college with. I wonder how they made it through their own high school commencement when they can’t read or write above an 8th grade level. What I struggle with is trying to discover how I can raise the standards? If they come in to my classroom at such low levels, having out of range expectations, which at one time were standard, serve no purpose. So, again, adaptation wins out. I feel like I’m beating a dead horse. What’s the answer? I really want to talk about this with someone. Any takers?

Stacey the Reader

Just the other day I was having a conversation with someone about online books. I love to read, but have an extremely difficult time reading large amounts and for extended time periods on the computer. I like the completeness that a book offers. In my trying to find the difference between hypertext and hypermedia last week, I recall reading the words “perpetually unfinished” in a piece. That is how I feel when reading hypertext. I think people take for granted the security that goes with reading in book form. For a number of reasons, I could be reading hypertext one day and try to access the same material several days later and it may not exist. Am I the only person frightened by this?

Birkerts says, “The print engagement is essentially private.” He also talks about the time aspect of turning the pages, etc. I think the scrolling and clicking of electronic medium are comparable to the page turning in hard copy.

I enjoy nothing more than sitting down with a book. I appreciate the portability and the security it provides.

I have to ask though, why is it not an option for both to exist in today’s society? Birkerts seems to have an “all or none” approach that makes me feel guilty for loving books as much as I love doing hypertext. Is it not possible for people to develop an appreciation for both? I suppose it’s all about balance. As a student, it’s impossible to rely entirely upon electronic media for my education. I know that and I really hope incoming students know that. As a teacher, if I instill the value of my appreciation of books to my students, they are at least exposed to it and hopefully capable of making an informed decision as to what they prefer. And as Stacey the reader, I yet again find myself riding the fence here. It’s not my computer I read while easing myself into the world on a Saturday morning. Nor is it books that I read when I am plagued by insomnia late at night.

Birkerts ended chapter 8 with a melodramatic, “…for language is the soul’s ozone layer and we thin it at our peril.”
Whether books or electronic media, I think language can survive the electronic revolution. It’s the people who use it that I’m worried about!

I don't know why the linking isn't working on the previous post. It is probably my parents' crappy computer. C & P: www.heavyweight.blogspot.com

I decided to start the food/exercise blog that I've been contemplating doing for a while now. It's all stuff I was keeping in a journal in Microsoft Word, but like the idea of it being semi-public. Why does that sound strange to me?
Anyway, if you have no life and want to see what that part of my life is like, be my guest.

Why am I not surprised?

Today is payday from one of my jobs--my main income job. Every other Thursday, my check is directly deposited into my account. Today is different for some reason.

I checked for the money at 3 different times this morning and it wasn't there, so I called my bank to see if maybe it just hadn't been posted yet. Nope, not there. I called my boss, who called someone, who called someone else, and finally found out that they sent my money to another bank where I had an account (but closed it) over a year ago. I've spent the last hour on the phone with the old bank, the new bank, my boss, someone's secretary, and still have no answer as to when I might get paid.

This fucking (pardon my language, but I'm really irritated) agency has done nothing but screw me over every time I've worked for them. Obviously why would this time be any different? On a positive note: I get paid from BSU tomorrow, so I'll have that money to get me through the weekend travel expenses, etc.

People irritate the shit out of me sometimes.