What do you do with the realization that you don't matter to the person you love the most?

He says I matter but that's about as far as it ever goes--words. After this long I don't take much stock in words anymore. I get tired of being told one thing and actions and life prove exactly the opposite.

What is it about me that makes him not want to pursue me or romance me with the little things anymore (or ever really)?

Baby and I have been staying at my parents' because husband is in Arizona for work and I go back and forth between feeling hurt and angry that he hasn't done anything to let me know he thinks about us when he's gone; I then get mad at myself for expecting/hoping for anything because if he doesn't care to do something for me why should I be pissy about it?

I remember when I used to travel for work a lot knowing that it was the little things that matter.

He could even enlist the help of the family I'm staying with! I've been wanting to get my haircut for about 4 months now and dying for a tanning session to help through the winter blahs. Maybe call my mom and help schedule an appointment at a salon here and arrange for them to babysit Madeline. How fucking hard is this? I don't expect diamonds and weekend trips!
Do something that you haven't done before ( words and flowers).

We always said our marriage would be different than everyone elses. We'd have lots of sex and romance eachother--always remember the little things mattered. I think I'm the one that wanted that bad enough to get off my ass and DO something about it, rather than sit and think about it and feel bad but never go further than that.

What can I do differently? What IS it about ME that makes me unloveable like that?