Dickface

I know I said that my next post would be about the importance of RSVPing but something a little more pressing has taken place and I feel I should share.

This morning I was in the office and one of my college student tenants came in crying, with her mom along side her. They were wondering if I had any other apartments opening up soon because the girl has been having probs with current roommates. I explained current availability (lack thereof actually), and stood up in an attempt to usher them out of the office. The mom proceeds to tell me all about her daughter's issues and says that the current roommates have been calling her names and making her gain weight. I put my hand up and say, "listen, it's not that I don't care, but I kind of don't. These aren't dorms and I'm not an RA and while I'm sympathetic, there's nothing I can do."

The mom then forces the daughter to recount episodes of meanness and directs her to tell me the names the roommates have been calling her. The girl's face turns bright read as she begins to quietly say, "Well, they've been calling me dickface, and dickmouth, and dicklips."

My dead grandma. Dead babies. Burns all over my body. Cannibalism. Think of awful things so you don't laugh your ass of right in her face!!! It was the most difficult moment of maintaining composure I've ever had in my life.

Dickface? Are you seriously in my office with your MOM because someone called you dickface?

I simply closed my eyes and shook my head slowly in an attempt to show some type of disapproval, even though I felt like I should maybe high-five the people or something?! Or maybe I should have closely examined her face and said, "I have no idea where they got that idea! Your face, lips, and mouth look nothing like a dick!"

Dickface? Who says that anyway? I may have called my brother dickface when I was 10 years old...or maybe that was dickhead.

If someone walked up to me today and called me dickface I'd probably just say, "Hey, whassup?" and not think twice. Who the hell cares? I wish I had such a lame existence that my mom could come to bat for me because someone called me dicklips!

I called Justin afterwards and we got a good laugh out of it. Later I called the property manager down the street, Crystal, as one of her tenants might be moving in with the namecallers so I wondered if she had heard anything about the "situation" from anyone. She had and was saying she couldn't believe how nasty those kids were to that girl, calling her such horrible names. She was seriously disgusted. I was again forced into being disappointed to save face.

Am I super desensitized? I've been teased plenty in my life so maybe the prospect of being called dickmouth doesn't sound so bad?

I just called Justin at work and before I hung up I said, "I love you assface."

I don't think he'll want to move out as a result. I can't be sure though.