WTF ever!

I haven't slept any solid sleep in weeks. This is not some crazy exaggeration like I'm prone to do. I, for reaaaalllz, have been sick over 3 weeks now and am getting "better" in the fact that I no longer have a fever and my cough has eased up during the day. It's the crazy nighttime, or laying down anytime I guess, that has caused me to second guess my desire to live.

I've been on antibiotics and prescription and over the counter cough syrup and an additional prescrip of lung-numbing pills. All of that combined does nada. I've tried sleeping with every pillow in the house surrounding me, sitting in the recliner, leaning against the arm of the couch, sitting at the kitchen table with pillows in front of me, sitting in boiling hot bathwater.
It seems like it might be ok, but 5 seconds after falling asleep I start "spazzing" like someone has been holding their hand over my mouth for 23 minutes.
Cough and choke and gag and on and on. I've gone through 2 bags of Ricola drops and am on Halls menthosomethings. Delsym, nyquil, dayquil, robitussin, mucinex, hot tea, hot water, vaporizer, boiling water on the stove, netti pot.

The one thing I haven't tried: enema. Sound crazy? I agree fully. BUT, last night as I was crying and watching Full House because I couldn't sleep, I decided to google my symptoms in a new way. What did I find? I either have cancer or should give myself some enemas.
For the first time in my life, cancer sounds attractive. In my searching I found a super awesome weblog and have been reading Justin excerpts from it over the phone this afternoon while he is on the road for work.

So, I got in to see my MD this morning and they did bloodwork and chest x-rays and an RSV test (shot stuff up my nose and sucked it out--not cool). Ugh....Madeline is standing at my leg scrrreaaaming right now. I'll finish later. Yeah right!